This is the story of the shot of tequila I had last Thursday night which ended up costing me $430.

It all started at a Christmas party I went to on the Thursday night. I wasn’t planning on drinking much, so I drove there. I had a couple of beers early, but had had nothing for a few hours, so would have been perfectly fine to drive home.

I was feeling good with myself for not getting tempted by all the free alcohol. But then I went and messed it all up by having one shot of tequila. Not even sure why I did it, given tequila is absolutely awful. But anyway, I did it, it was done, so I decided that I would leave my car there, catch a cab home, and pick up the car in the morning.

I then proceeded to have a couple more drinks, then jumped in a cab and went home.

The next morning started off badly. Here’s what happened:

1. I woke up with a cramp in my leg.

2. There was nothing in the house for breakfast.

3. The first two trains were cancelled, meaning that I had to wait half an hour for a train, which was inevitably crammed with three trains worth of people.

4. The breakfast burger I bought at Flinders Street station was the worst burger ever (it was full of pickle mustard, which wasn’t mentioned in the burger’s description on the menu board. Pickle mustard is not great at the best of times, let alone at 8am).

5. The tram took forever to arrive, and when it did it had a dodgy door that could open but not close. The driver had to get out of the driving compartment and manually close the door at every stop, which doubled the time of the journey.

6. There was a ticket inspector on the tram, and I had a band-aid on my thumb which made getting my ticket out of my wallet near impossible. After about a minute of me struggling, he was just about ready to give me a fine for not having a ticket.

After such a bad start to the morning, I was thinking that things could not get much worse. It had taken 90 minutes to get from my house back to where my car was (a trip that should have taking 45 minutes at most).

But then things got a whole lot worse.

My car was not where I left it. In fact it was nowhere to be seen.

Then it hit me – I had parked in a clearway zone, and the car had been towed away.

A delayed train and rotten burger paled into insignificance compared to the realisation that my car had been towed.

I found the phone number of the towing company on the pole with the clearway sign on it, a sign that now seemed to be laughing at my stupidity. The towing company gave me the address (after abusing the local council for publishing their number instead of the council’s number – as if I was the council), and I jumped in a cab, on my way to retrieve my car.

A tow would cost about $100 I thought. I was wrong.

The tow itself was a whopping $275. Talk about highway robbery.

Speaking of robbery, the towing company was located in a dodgy alley in Collingwood, that made me think of the company as one that stole cars and then made the owners pay a ‘ransom’ to get their cars back.

As I was handed my receipt for the $275 tow, the towing man said that they left the parking fine on the windshield. This hit me like a left hook as I am falling to the ground as the result of a right one. I totally forgot that there would be a fine as well, for parking in the clearway. The fine was $110, as you can see below.

I got my car, drove it away, and eventually got to work three hours after I had left home that morning. It proved to be one of the most frustrating mornings of my life.

The tequila shot I had was the difference between me driving home that night, and not driving home that night. By not driving home, it cost me the following:

Cab ride on Thursday night $25.50

Train/tram ticket $2.70

Breakfast burger $3.95

Tow $275

Cab to towing company $17.80

Parking fine $110

TOTAL $434.95

If I was thinking in a Mastercard frame of mind, I would also include:

Story that is ideal for introducing the fact that I am about to start goal 4 on my list – Priceless

Yes, this long-winded story did have a relevant point, besides the moral of not having shots of tequila. It serves as a great way to introduce that on January 2, 2008, I begin goal 4, which is to abstain from all forms of alcohol for 100 consecutive days – a goal I now wish I had started a couple of weeks ago!

The goal is complete if I can last until April 11. In the process, I hope to learn that alcohol is not required in order to have a fun time.

And if last Friday is anything to go by, I might save myself a few thousand dollars at the same time!

I am not a regular attender of gigs, or concerts, or anything live that isn’t sport.

It’s something I wish I did more, but for some reason I just don’t.

So goal 78 is to see 10 live performances. This covers anything live that isn’t sport, so this could be band gigs, theatre productions or even Carols by Candlelight!

Hopefully this will get me into the habit of going to at least one live show a month.

Here’s the progress so far.

1. The Phantom of the Opera (seen at the Princess Theatre)
This was one of the best things I have ever seen. The singing was amazing, the set design even better and I would recommend it to anyone. And no, most of the singing wasn’t opera!
2. Spamalot (seen at Her Majesty’s theatre)
Classic must-see for any Monty Python fan. Should-see for everyone else. Very good.

3. The 39 Steps (seen at the Playhouse at the Arts Centre)
A murder mystery comedy based loosely on the work of Alfred Hitchcock. 4 actors played the roles of 130 different characters remarkably well. Laugh out loud funny.

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I like camping.

Perhaps it is the getting away from civilisation and technology that appeals to me, or the fact that there is nothing better than just lazing around by a campfire with a beer in hand.

Regardless, I like camping.

Since moving out of home, and not doing family holidays anymore, I have neglected to make the time to get away for a camping trip often enough to satisfy my passion.

So goal 74 is to go camping six times in three years, including one trip to the southern Grampians.

And so far, I am two trips down, four to go.

The Number 1 Heath Tully camping tip? Bring plenty of matches.

TRIP 1 – EILDON
Spent Queen’s Birthday weekend 2007 at Eildon in central Victoria, with Isaac, Johan and Andy. Johan provided the most humourous moment, by vomiting all over himself, and then on his pillow just after we put him to bed (we did tell him not to drink scotch straight!) A vomit basin would have come in very handy!

TRIP 2 – OTWAYS
Not taking the advice of the weathermen, Andy, Isaac and I decided to head to the Otways on the 2007 Melbourne Cup long weekend. Bad idea. We were met with an absolute torrential storm at about 6pm, and after it drowned our campfire at about 7.30pm, we all huddled into Isaac’s car until we were tired enough to head to the tent and fall asleep in our rain-soaked sleeping bags.

At 6am the next morning, we woke up to what looked like a war zone, so we just threw everything into the truck and drove home. On the radio we heard that 2km down the road from our campsite a tree had been blown over during the night by the wind, and tragically killed a camper as they slept in their tent. This was a very serious storm.

Below are pictures of the best roast lamb I have ever had (it was the highlight of the trip), and me as a drowned rat outside a very, very wet tent.

I am the first to admit that I am a real homebody. I love nothing more than hanging around at home at night, with a home delivery of fish and chips or pizza.

But given I live in Melbourne, the home of some of the finest restaurants in Australia, let alone the world, I really needed to get out and start to try some of them.

Thus, goal 124 is to dine in 30 Melbourne restaurants that I have never dined in.

I am not a very fancy diner. I can’t handle spicy, I don’t like tofu, and I tend to select the chicken parma whenever I see it on the menu. So this goal will not only force me to visit new restaurants, but also to try an array of various cuisine.

Below is my progress thus far. Ratings are out of 183 (for obvious reasons) – 60 points for the service, 70 points for the food/drink, 45 points for the ambience, with 8 bonus points available for anything extra special that was experienced.

1. La Camera in Southbank

Service: 42 (nothing special at all)

Food / drink: 49 (pretty good list of wines, but food was nothing special)

Ambience: 34 (table was too cramp, and it was quite loud)

Bonus Points: 0

Rating: 125 out of 183

2. The Point in Albert Park

Service: 50 (nice enough, reasonably quick)

Food / drink: 52 (my eggs benedict was nice but had a weird sauce on it)

Ambience: 39 (early in the morning for breakfast meant there was not many people, but you can’t beat a view of the lake first thing in the morning)

Bonus Points: 0

Rating: 141 out of 183

3. Hot Chilli in Flemington

Service: 39 (muddled up a couple of times, and I actually had to go to the front desk to ask for the bill after being ignored for a long time)

Food / drink: 49 (typical Thai. Nice but nothing I would rave about to anyone)

Ambience: 32 (once again, typical Thai restaurant atmosphere. Quiet enough to speak without yelling, so that is always good)

Bonus Points: 1 (we didn’t have to book ahead)

Rating: 131 out of 183

4. Bhoj in Docklands

Service: 53 (nice waiter who didn’t laugh when we fumbled the pronunciations of the dishes, and served us quickly)

Food / drink: 62 (before I ate, I didn’t think I really liked Indian. Now I do. That is a sign that this was good fare. The menu was varied enough to allow me to choose mild things, as I can’t stomach spicy food too well)

Ambience: 32 (we went at lunchtime, and there was only one other group of diners, so atmosphere was minimal. Being on the Docklands would mean that this place could have quite a good atmosphere on a busy Saturday night though)

Bonus Points: 3 (found out they were voted best Indian restaurant in Victoria for 2007, which was impressive)

Rating: 150 out of 183

5. The Water Rat Hotel in South Melbourne

Service: 51 (quite knowledgeable about the menu)

Food / drink: 61 (great specials, and cooked to perfection)

Ambience: 27 (bit too high-brow for me. The kind of place rich socialites would go. Not for me)

Bonus Points: -1 (because I swallowed my wine the wrong way and it came out my nose – definitely their fault!)

Rating: 138 out of 183

6. MOO (Money Order Office) in Melbourne CBD

Service: 52 (service how it should be. Only downers were that I had to ask for the bill and the food took just a tiny bit too long to come out, but constant water refills and great knowledge of the menu counteracted that)

Food / drink: 67 (exquisite. And wine list was amazing)

Ambience: 40 (hidden in an alleyway gets points in my book. Very intimate meant perfect for a dinner out with Nat)

Bonus Points: 4 (sparkling mineral was free, so 3 bonus points. 1 point also for the pen I used to sign the bill, which has a cool grip that was filled with a weird gel)

Rating: 163 out of 183

7. Tonik in Kensington

Service: 50 (bit rushed, but that was only to squeeze our order in before a table of 18)

Food / drink: 55 (awesome mashed potato, but they made the mistake of burning the marinade that was on my scotch fillet so it was a bit too charcoaly for my liking)

Ambience: 42 (really relaxed, and Nat and I spent an hour playing cards after dinner while having a beer)

Bonus Points: 2 (one for Mountain Goat Hightail Ale being on tap (this is one of my favourite beers of all time) and one for the board games available to play while having a drink)

Rating: 149 out of 183

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I love a game of cards. Doesn’t matter the game. I am happy with 500, gin rummy or even snap.

Luckily I have some mates that are similarly inclined.

A little while ago, we decided that we should start having monthly card nights, with the venue changing each time. The games to be played would include Big 2 and 500, but with the main game being poker with a high stakes buy-in of $5.

To do my little bit to try and keep these nights happening, and not have the plan fizzle out after the first two or three nights, goal 73 is to have 15 card nights.

So far, we have had 7 card nights.As yet, I have not had any success at the poker table. A couple of 2nd place finishes is the best I can say so far.

I have always had a fascination with southern Africa, in particular Zimbabwe. It all started because the captain of the Zimbabwean cricket team used to be a man called Heath Streak. He was the first famous Heath I knew, so naturally I was a fan of the team, and therefore the country.

Zimbabwe was once one of Africa’s strongest countries, and a model for how different ethnic backgrounds can co-exist successfully.

Unfortunately, in the last few years, the country has gone downhill in a big way. Life expectancies are now among the worst in the world (life expectancy for women is 34), inflation is beyond belief (just topped 4500% per year), trade sanctions have been imposed and the country seems to be on the brink of a civil war. And in my opinion (and that of many other people) it is the fault of one man.

Robert Gabriel Mugabe.

Initially a hero after leading the group that helped overthrow British rule in Rhodesia, which led to the country’s independence and Mugabe’s rise to Prime Minister, Mugabe’s reputation and hero status is now in ruins.

He is a classic example of a person being corrupted by power, and in order to stay in power he has orchestrated despicable act after despicable act.

In an attempt to learn more about the current situation in Zimbabwe, I made it goal 30 on the list. And during the week I started this goal, by buying a DVD with two documentaries about the issues of Zimbabwe. One was by a foreign journalist, who had to pretend to be a tourist in order to get into the country, because Mugabe has banned all foreign journalists. The other was by a Zimbabwean local, who went into exile after making the film.

Both were enlightening, and showed in graphic detail the damage Mugabe has caused this beautiful country. As much as I would like to watch a documentary showing the Mugabe side of the story, it would be difficult for anyone with a conscience to create such a film. There would be absolutely no way to justify what he and his political party have done.

He uses threats and scare tactics to remain in power. One campaign line he used was ‘Vote Zanu PF and live’ (Zanu PF is the name of his party). If that isn’t a scare tactic, I don’t know what is!

I plan to read a lot about this issue before I can claim to have completed goal 30. If you can recommend any resources to me, it would be greatly appreciated

I am not really sure yet what I can do to help, but unless I am informed, there is nothing I can do.

Below is a picture of what we should be thinking of when we talk about Zimbabwe. It is the Victoria Falls, one of the seven natural wonders of the world.

Unfortunately, it seems that until Mugabe is removed from power, the only thing we will be talking about when we think about Zimbabwe is that this once great country has now become one of the most corrupt and bankrupt countries not just in Africa, but the world.

Agatha Christie used to be my favourite murder mystery writer, and I have always believed that she deserves her title of being the Queen of Murder Mystery. I have read dozens of her books, and never thought I would find a better author of murder mystery.

Then I read ‘The Vanished Man’ by Jeffrey Deaver. It initially intrigued me because the murderer in the story based all of his murders on famous magic tricks, and used illusion and sleight of hand to escape the authorities. Once I finished the last page of the book I knew that Christie was no longer number one for me. It was Deaver by a mile.

The twists throughout his books are what makes Jeffrey Deaver so good. Just when you start to get comfortable, he hits you from behind with something you did not see coming.

Goal 53 therefore will be a fun one to complete. The goal is to read every Jeffrey Deaver novel, including the short stories. Below the chalk outline is the full list of Deaver’s works, with those that I have read written in red. If you are any sort of crime fiction fan, make sure you give Deaver a try. You will not regret it.

The Bodies Left Behind

The Broken Window

The Sleeping Doll

The Cold Moon

The Vanished Man

Mistress of Justice

The Lesson of Her Death

Praying for Sleep

A Maiden’s Grave

Speaking in Tongues

The Devil’s Teardrop

The Blue Nowhere

Garden of Beasts

Manhattan is my Beat

Death of a Blue Movie Star

Hard News

The Twelfth Card

Shallow Graves

Bloody River Blues

Hell’s Kitchen

The Bone Collector

The Coffin Dancer

The Empty Chair

The Stone Monkey

Twisted

More Twisted

For goal 132 I took a big risk.

I let someone else decide what the goal would be.

The first person to notice that goal 132 was open, and then nominate the goal for me to complete, would be what I do. No questions asked. Now that one has been nominated, I am beginning to regret the decision.

George from work is responsible for the nomination, and this is what he has said that I need to complete:

Drive to work in the nude

So there it is. Goal 132 is to drive to work naked.

George did give me one condition – all my clothes have to be in the boot, but I can have a pair of undies in the glovebox.

Not sure how I will do this one yet, but I will be sure to put up official proof of goal completion when it is done. Prepare to shield your eyes!

Before Friday, I had never ridden a motorcycle*. Now, being Sunday, I have a motorcycle learner’s permit.

Goal 14 is to get my motorcycle license, and in getting my learner’s permit I am now halfway there.

In order to get ready for the learner test, I went for a 12-hour training course at Stay Upright. The course taught the absolute basics such as how to get onto the bike, up to advanced riding skills such as emergency braking. It was amazing how much improvement everyone in the group had from the first ride on Saturday morning, to the riding test on Sunday afternoon. If you are ever looking for a motorcycle training course, go with Stay Upright – the trainers were terrific.

The first obstacle was the written test, which has the same set up as the car learner’s permit test (32 questions, with a pass being at least 26 out of 32 correct). There were some dodgy questions on the test, but I ended up with 29, which was a massive relief.

The riding test was made up of a combination of bike controls knowledge, slow manoeuveres, emergency braking and cornering. Unlike a car license, there was no room for error. One mistake (that’s right, just one mistake) and it is an automatic fail. Not sure that is the best way to test, as it just makes the whole situation more tense and less comfortable for the rider, thus making them more likely to make the one mistake they are so desperately trying to avoid.

Regardless of this pressure, somehow I got through it, and now the open road is mine to enjoy – much to Nat’s concern. She even tried to confiscate my permit as soon as I showed it to her!

So what is the most important thing I learnt this weekend? Definitely ‘the nod’. If you’re not sure what this means, ask a motorcyclist. They’ll know!

Here is my flattering licence photo. Sorry ladies, I’m taken.

* I did ride a dirt bike once, but did a big skid, fell off and the bike landed on my ankle, giving me a nasty sprain. I have been blocking it out of the memory bank ever since.

Movies are not really my thing. I have an annoying habit of falling asleep almost every time I go to the cinema, even if it is during the middle of the day. My guess is it has something to do with the lights going out, and my brain thinking that it is night time. As a result, I have seen the start and end of dozens of movies, but missed out on the crucial middle sections.

So goal 92 will prove to be very difficult. This is the goal to see every movie to have won the Best Picture Academy Award. When I went through the list, I had seen only 6 of the 80, so I have a long way to go (Nat is my opposite. She had seen 39 movies from the list, and is obsessed with old movies from the 40s, which I find terribly boring).

So here is the list. Movies in green, I have seen (yes I know, nice rhyme).

How many have you seen?

2010 The King’s Speech

2009 The Hurt Locker

2008 Slumdog Millionaire

2007 No Country for Old Men

2006 The Departed

2005 Crash

2004 Million Dollar Baby

2003 The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

2002 Chicago

2001 A Beautiful Mind

2000 Gladiator

1999 American Beauty

1998 Shakespeare in Love

1997 Titanic

1996 The English Patient

1995 Braveheart

1994 Forrest Gump

1993 Schindler’s List

1992 Unforgiven

1991 The Silence of the Lambs

1990 Dances with Wolves

1989 Driving Miss Daisy

1988 Rain Man

1987 The Last Emperor

1986 Platoon

1985 Out of Africa

1984 Amadeus

1983 Terms of Endearment

1982 Gandhi

1981 Chariots of Fire

1980 Ordinary People

1979 Kramer v Kramer

1978 The Deer Hunter

1977 Annie Hall

1976 Rocky

1975 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

1974 The Godfather Part II

1973 The Sting

1972 The Godfather

1971 The French Connection

1970 Patton

1969 Midnight Cowboy

1968 Oliver!

1967 In the Heat of the Night

1966 A Man for all Seasons

1965 The Sound of Music

1964 My Fair Lady

1963 Tom Jones

1962 Lawrence of Arabia

1961 West Side Story

1960 The Apartment

1959 Ben Hur

1958 Gigi

1957 The Bridge on the River Kwai

1956 Around the World in Eighty Days

1955 Marty

1954 On the Waterfront

1953 From Here to Eternity

1952 The Greatest Show on Earth

1951 An American in Paris

1950 All about Eve

1949 All the King’s Men

1948 Hamlet

1947 Gentleman’s Agreement

1946 The Best Years of our Lives

1945 The Lost Weekend

1944 Going My Way

1943 Casablanca

1942 Mrs Miniver

1941 How Green Was My Valley

1940 Rebecca

1939 Gone with the Wind

1938 You can’t take it with you

1937 The life of Emile Zola

1936 The Great Ziegfeld

1935 Mutiny on the Bounty

1934 It Happened One Night

1933 Cavalcade

1932 Grand Hotel

1931 Cimarron

1930 All Quiet on the Western Front

1929 The Broadway Melody

1928 Wings

1927 Sunrise