As you will have seen on Sunrise, I have found what I think are the top ten toilets in Melbourne (and if you are here just to see the worst toilet, scroll down to the bottom of the post!)

But I am not satisfied.

Although I searched high and low, it seems that creativity is not a criteria when designing public toilets. As long as it gets the job done to allow you to get the job done, that is sufficient. Which is fine.

So perhaps it is not the best PUBLIC toilets that the list needs to be, but the best toilets in general.

If you know of any great toilets in Melbourne, whether they be at a restaurant or a nightclub or an art gallery, I’d love to know about them.

For the sake of finishing off this goal though, here are my top ten public toilets in Melbourne, from ten to one.

10. Fitzroy Gardens – gets bonus points for the half flush function it has (which most of the top ten did have), and also because of the beautiful gardens that surround it.

9. Central Pier, Docklands – a modern public toilet that would have fared much better if not for a slight lack of cleanliness and no bins.

8. General Post Office (GPO) – Although it wasn’t very clean, and you felt a little unsafe as you walked down the stairs, it is in the top ten because this toilet in Elizabeth Street is an icon of Melbourne public toilets.

7. Royal Park South, Parkville – this toilet had THE BEST smell I have ever smelt in a toilet. It was a fruity aroma that totally drowned out any smell, and I could have actually sat in there with a book for an hour and been fine.

6. Shed 2, Docklands – this I call the public toilet for adventurers. To get there you need to conquer the equivalent of a four-wheel drive track, or walk for a few kilometres. It was the only toilet that also had shower facilities, and the sign that said ‘No Fish!’ guaranteed it a top ten finish.

5. Melbourne Town Hall – not often thought of when listing the icons of Melbourne, but these 100-year old toilets would have to be up there. Relatively clean for what they are, these were the only toilets I found that offer a baby change-room.

4. QV – this one is in because of the sheer size of it. You will never be waiting in a line to use the toilet, which is lucky because so many people use it. It also made it very hard to take a picture in the bathroom, as there was always someone there giving me weird looks. They had the best sinks of all toilets as well.

3. Corner Exhibition and Collins Street – this toilet played music when you entered (Burt Bacharach, so extra points for that too), had a button to allow you to lower the toilet seat, a button to automatically release the toilet paper for you to use, and you didn’t need to flush, because when you started washing your hands, the flush function would start automatically. The only thing letting it down was the hand-dryer was busted, and there was no hot water available. But great fun regardless.

2. Royal Botanic Gardens – the cleanest and greenest of the toilets, with a lovely coconut aroma. It was the only one that had an alternative to the urinal flush, which was to have little tablets that did the same job, but without the need to use water. Also had a door separating the bathroom from the sinks, which was good.

1. Federation Square – it had a video playing on the hand-dryer, and the doors to enter were kind of like secret doors hidden in the wall. And it had everything else a great toilet needs – warm water, soap, good toilet paper. So it was a pretty easy choice as number one.

My one big finding – graffiti artists tend to steer clear of public toilets, as there was almost no graffiti to see, even in the toilets that didn’t make the top ten.

And as promised, here is a picture of THE WORST public toilet I found, on the corner of Albert and Nicholson Streets in the city. Pay close attention to the urinal on the left. Sorry if you are eating right now (but just imagine me having to take this photo!).